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Updating our beliefs and assessing our self expectations

Unmet expectations can create relationship conflict. Likewise, our self-expectations can impact the way we see ourselves. As our bodies and lives change, we need to shift our mindset and allow more room for self-acceptance and self-compassion.

This was evident to me when I was recently sorting through my wardrobe. I had three bags full of clothes that no longer fit my body, or my current identity. I was struggling to part with these clothes, so I decided to ask Aidan to bear witness to the stories behind the clothes. As I shared the story behind each item, I came to realise that the clothes fitted into two categories.

  1. Clothes that never fit my body and my identity, mainly because they were maybes to begin with or where purchased for me.

  2. Clothes that fit me as a teenager.

Aidan was quick to point out that I am a woman now and that it makes perfect sense for the clothes to no longer serve me. This got me thinking; I expected my body to look and feel exactly like it once did, and the reality is that we change and with this change comes new possibilities for growth, pleasure, sensuality, and new beginnings.

Following my wardrobe insight, I started to view my identity differently. I started considering mindsets that were also time bound and began updating these beliefs. This process while confronting was freeing. Understanding how the beliefs were developed, who they were influenced by and how they served me at the time allowed me to address there relevance in my current life, as a woman that has matured, experienced life and has come to more deeply understand her unique and ever changing identity.

Are there any beliefs or mindsets that you need to update? Maybe your body has changed, your life has different demands or your beliefs surrounding sex and sexuality no longer serve you. I challenge you to take some time to address these beliefs and update them accordingly, while being extremely kind to yourself in the process.


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