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How do you define sex?

How do you define sex? This is a question that I love to ask at the beginning of my workshops. How we define sex has a huge influence on what our sex life looks like. Without taking the time to define what sex is in your relationship, society will create a default definition that you may find yourself ascribing to. 

Defining sex can broaden our perception of what sex is and creates insight to how it influences our life. This discussion can open us to a greater awareness of pleasure, fun and intimacy. How sex is defined can change from relationship to relationship, with emphasis being placed on different facets of our sex life. How it is defined may also change over time. 

One consideration is the purpose of your sex life. Consider what are you hoping to gain from your sex life and how does this play-out in your relationship. Take the time to create a vision for your sex life with your partner and then start to take steps to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you would like to be.

Here are some questions to get you started-
1.    How do you define sex?
2.    How do you define making love?
3.    What is the purpose of our sex life?
4.    What is a vision for our sex life that we can agree on?
5.    How can we bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be?

A friend of mine was having a conversation with a lady in her 90’s and they started talking about sex. The question was asked “do you still have sex?” Her response was “yes of course I do, I have sex every-night. Some nights that looks like holding hands and other nights it looks like a cuddle.” We can all learn something from her perspective on sex, by recognizing that it can encompass so much more than penetration!


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